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blew Forrest inside. He stumbled and caught his footing, helped by his magic sandals.
There stood the ogre: twice the height of a man, hairy, and disproportionately muscular. "Who you?" the
thing demanded.
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"I-I'm Forrest Faun. I come to have an ugly contest."
The ogre thought about that. Forrest knew he was thinking, because the unusual effort was heating his
head, and huge fleas were jumping off lest their feet get burned. Then he decided to introduce himself.
"See me: Orgy."
So far, so good. "I'm uglier than you."
Orgy Ogre stared down at him. "Ugly faun? 'Tis to yawn."
"I'll prove it. Do you have a mirror?"
Orgy shook his shaggy head. "Mirror lack. Ogre crack."
He meant it his face was so ugly that any mirror that reflected it broke. This was a complication. How
could Forrest lose a contest if they couldn't compare their faces! But maybe they could do it with water.
"Do you have a pool?"
"Sure, pool. It cool."
"Then let's compare faces in the pool. Then we'll see who is uglier."
Orgy considered, and more fleas jumped off. Then he decided. "Me say okay." He turned and led the
way into the castle.
Forrest followed. He noticed that much of the castle was in ruins. The walls had been bashed down, and
the stones were scattered across the floor. The ogre simply kicked them out of the way, not even
noticing, though some were pretty solid chunks.
They came to an inner courtyard where water had collected. It was dirty, but it would do.
Forrest bent forward so that he could see his reflection. He looked just exactly like a faun. "Ugly," he
said.
Orgy Ogre bent over. The water quivered and shrank away. Orgy grimaced. The water made waves as it
fled to the edges of the pool. Orgy smiled. The water turned muddy and splashed right out of the pool on
the far side.
"I'm impressed," Forrest said. "I was never able to make water do that. You are uglier than I am, by far.
You must be a legend among your kind." He was sincere; the ogre had truly impressed him.
"No, I am merely an average ogre," Orgy said sadly. "But thank you for the compliment."
Forrest stared. "You're not rhyming!"
"I never did rhyme. No ogre does. It is merely your perception that changed."
"But you still look like an ogre to me."
"But now you see me as an individual, instead of a monster. You have achieved respect. So you are able
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to hear me as I am."
"I never realized! Do you mean that all ogres are cultured, instead of being stupid?"
"That depends entirely on your perception."
"I was afraid you were going to crunch me."
"I was, until you showed that you had discovered respect. We ogres crunch only the ignorant."
"This is an education," Forrest said. "I'll never view ogres the same way."
"Excellent. You should have no further fear of us. But why did you come here?"
"I need your help. I'm looking for the dear horn."
"Olio! You wish to trade services."
"Yes. Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I'm afraid not. I am completely satisfied. I am sorry you came here for nothing."
Forrest had been afraid of this. "I came here with two companions. They remained apart, for fear of
getting crunched. They might be able to figure out a service that you need. Then we could trade. Would
it be all right if they joined me here?"
"That depends on their perspective. If they are ordinary, I'll be obliged to crunch them. Protocol., you
know."
"Suppose I explain to them about respect?"
"They may not listen. Most folk are sure they know the nature of ogres."
"But if I can make them understand?"
"Then they will be welcome to the hospitality of the castle."
"Let me go fetch them. Maybe we can do each other some good after all."
"As you wish. Meanwhile, I shall return to my bashing."
As Forrest walked out of the castle, Orgy Ogre waded into the nearest wall, bashing it into rubble with
his two hamfists. The whole structure shuddered. Such was the ogre's ferocity that it was a wonder that
any of the castle remained standing. Forrest realized that this was the sound he had heard before, when
he stood outside the door. No wonder it required the bell-weather to get the ogre's attention. .
He went out the door, which remained open. But it swung closed once he was clear; apparently it was
set to let visitors out, but not to let them in. So it was a magic door. He departed the bleak castle
environs, and walked on across the blasted terrain to where the two mares stood. They looked amazed
and relieved to see him.
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"You may enter the ogre's den," he said. "But there is a caution."
"That's a severe understatement," Cathryn said. "Are you sure it's safe?"
"It will be safe if you have the right attitude."
Both mares looked at him doubtfully. "How can attitude save a person from being crunched by a
monster?" Imbri asked.
"You have to leave your prejudice behind, and have proper respect."
"For an ogre?" Cathryn asked incredulously.
Forrest realized that there was a problem. "He's really a very cultured creature. You just have to see him
as such."
The two mares exchanged a Significant Glance. "I suppose even a stink horn has its culture," Imbri
remarked to no one in particular.
They were locked into their prejudice. He had to get rid of it, or it would not be safe for them to enter
the ogre's den. "Remember how you viewed me, at first? As just another faun looking for a nymph to
chase?"
They nodded.
"Do you still view me that way?"
"No," Cathryn said. "You have a lot more character than I originally supposed."
"So can you appreciate that originally you were operating on prejudice?"
"Nonsense! Centaurs aren't prejudiced." Then she reconsidered. "But I'm very young now, so maybe you
do have a point."
"So can you appreciate that the ogre may have qualities to be respected, if you viewed him without
prejudice?"
"An ogre?" Then she heard herself, and laughed. "You wouldn't be teasing a centaur foal, would you?"
"No. I am serious. It is a matter of life or crunching. The ogre doesn't crunch those who respect him."
Imbri was having her own problem. "Respecting an ogre is an oxymoron, a contradiction in terms. They
are sheer brutes."
"Then respect his brutishness. But see him as worthy in his own right."
"Well, I suppose I can make the effort."
"So can I," Cathryn said. "Even if I do get crunched."
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They walked back to the castle. They came to a stop before the great door. "Now remember: he's an
individual. You will know this by his speech: it doesn't rhyme."
"All ogres speak in stupid rhyming couplets," Cathryn said.
"No. They are merely heard that way by ignorant outsiders. If you hear him rhyming, don't speak,
because he'll know you don't respect him.
"This is weird," the centaur said.
Forrest picked up the rod and banged the bell-weather. The fierce little storm formed, and the
commotion summoned the ogre to the door. This time all three of them were sucked inward by the
swoosh of air. The ogre stood there, as huge and brutish as ever.
"Orgy, these are my friends Mare Imbri and Cathryn Centaur," Forrest said. "Mares, this is Orgy Ogre,
master of this castle."
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