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love is as unconditional as she said it was, you won t ask for more. I lowered my head. I know I won t
ask for more.
The warmth lingered for a moment, then swept through me and away. I shivered.
Goodbye, Gianna. I stood and touched her casket with my fingertips. Thank you.
Marcus approached me. Ready? he said. I nodded, and we walked back toward the limo together.
Who were you talking to back there?
God.
Oh. Sorry to interrupt.
It s okay, I said. He s gone now.
Well, that s a comforting thought.
38
Et Lux Perpetua Luceat Eis
Dear Marcus,
Don t panic. I haven t killed myself, though sometimes I wish I could. I must go away, and you
will probably never see me again. If only I could be there for you and your family to share our
grief, but there s somewhere I need to be. Please understand, although that s impossible.
I have enclosed several important items:
The first is a list of numbers and passwords for all my Swiss bank accounts. The money is now
yours. All the legal arrangements have been made. I chose you because I knew you d only keep
the first few million dollars for yourself. Please give the rest to whatever causes or charities
Gianna supported. I am ashamed to admit that while she was alive I never cared to find out what
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they were.
The rest of the package consists of my musical compositions. If you like, you may claim them as
your own. Just make sure they re heard.
I think I will miss you a great deal. There is a piece of Gianna that dwells within you. Keep it
alive.
Your friend,
Louis
I thought about adding P.S.: Beware of my brother, but didn t want to end the letter on an ominous
note.
After mailing the package to Marcus, I made a direct deposit of fifteen million dollars (after taxes) in
Daphne s checking account and sent her a telegram that read: Congratulations! You re fired. Have a
good life.
I couldn t bring myself to meet with my former comrades, knowing that some of them had conspired to
end Gianna s life. But I sent a general proclamation officially transferring all infernal authority to
Mephistopheles. He would make an efficient and occasionally brilliant Devil. I had Belial transferred to a
private psychiatric hospital and secured enough money for him to live there in peace until he was finally
called to Heaven, which I hoped wouldn t be long.
So went my preparations for ending my time on Earth. Now I sit here in my library enjoying my last glass
of fine scotch. I will leave this manuscript, my ownRequiem , here next to the feather from my scorched
wings. I wonder what my new wings will feel like, or if I ll even get that far. Perhaps I will be annihilated
the moment I enter the doorway, disintegrated like a leaf at ground zero. Either way, it will be a quieter
Armageddon than any poet or preacher could have imagined.
It s too much to ask to be remembered for anything other than terror and despair and cold-blooded
chaos, for anything other than evil. I can only beg the muse of history to include this among my
legacies that I loved Gianna as well as I could.
Without knowing it, she gave me in return a glimpse of a forgotten paradise. If Heaven is the sun, then
Gianna was the moon for me a pale, brilliant reflection of God s love in the midnight of my long, dark
existence.
Epilogue
At twilight, on a dark street in the depths of Anacostia, a young boy in a gray hooded sweatshirt loitered
outside a liquor store. A blue sport utility vehicle pulled up to the curb a few feet away from him. Money
and vials changed hands.
The night grew darker. The neighborhood s only functioning streetlight burned across the street, outside
the AIDS hospice. A little girl in pigtail braids approached the boy.
Luther, Mama says come home for dinner.
Get back, bitch. Can t you see I m workin ?
I m tellin her you called me that! The little girl ran down the sidewalk, then stopped and stared at the
approaching figure.
Walking up the other side of the street was a tall, well-dressed white man with black hair. He carried a
large rolled-up piece of paper.
That one of your customers, Luther? the girl said.
I hope so. The boy began to saunter across the street, then saw the man pause in front of the hospice.
Naw, he s just a doctor or a priest or somethin . Shit.
The man examined the piece of paper in his hands under the pale orange streetlight, then looked at the
building again, his head cocked. He stuffed the paper in his back pocket and took a step toward the
brick facade. Without looking around, he stripped off his clothing until he was naked.
What the fuck? Luther said under his breath. Don t look, Mia. The little girl gawked at the naked
man and tugged on her green mitten string.
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The man hesitated only a moment before moving his hand towards the hospice building, on the brick next
to the door. Instead of touching the wall, his hand moved through it, and as it did, the bricks transformed
into light one by one, until they created a luminous doorway.
Holy shit! Luther ran to his little sister and swept her into his arms. He backed away from the street
until he bumped into the side of the liquor store.
The man stepped through the doorway of light. As he did, his body seemed to dissipate until it too was
made of light. There was no sound.
Suddenly, the doorway vanished, and the bricks became bricks again.
Mia whimpered in Luther s arms. He looked at her tear-drenched face, then back at the building, then at
his sister again.
Let s go home, okay? he said.
Luther turned and walked down the sidewalk, Mia s arms around his neck.
Mama made tater tots, she said.
Yeah?
Uh-huh.
Good. I like tater tots.
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