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technical shortcomings, costumes that fitted badly, directorial
foibles. All par for the course. In fact, the actors were happier than
they d been in a good while. Even Ed Cunningham was not above
passing a compliment or two.
Lichfield found Tallulah in the Green Room, tidying.
Tonight. . Yes, sir.
You must not be afraid.
I m not afraid, Tallulah replied. What a thought. As if-
There may be some pain, which I regret. For you, indeed for
all of us.
I understand.
Of course you do. You love the theatre as I love it: you know
the paradox of this profession. To play life. ah, Tallulah, to play
life& what a curious thing it is. Sometimes I wonder, you know,
how long I can keep up the illusion.
It s a wonderful performance, she said.
Do you think so? Do you really think so? He was encouraged
by her favourable review. It was so gaffing, to have to pretend all
the time; to fake the flesh, the breath, the look of life. Grateful for
Tallulah s opinion, he reached for her.
Would you like to die, Tallulah?
Does it hurt?
Scarcely at all.
It would make me very happy.
And so it should.
His mouth covered her mouth, and she was dead in less than
a minute, conceding happily to his inquiring tongue. He laid her out
on the threadbare couch and locked the door of the Green Room
with her own key. She d cool easily in the chill of the room, and be
up and about again by the time the audience arrived.
At six-fifteen Diane Duvall got out of a taxi at the front of the
Elysium. It was well dark, a windy November night, but she felt
fine; nothing could depress tonight. Not the dark, not the cold.
Unseen, she made her way past the posters that bore her face
and name, and through the empty auditorium to her dressing-
room. There, smoking his way through a pack of cigarettes, she
found the object of her affection.
Terry.
She posed in the doorway for a moment, letting the fact of her
reappearance sink in. He went quite white at the sight of her, so
she pouted a little. It wasn t easy to pout. There was a stiffness in
the muscles of her face but she carried off the effect to her
satisfaction.
Galloway was lost for words. Diane looked ill, no two ways
about it, and if she d left the hospital to take up her part in the
Dress Rehearsal he was going to have to convince her otherwise.
She was wearing no make-up, and her ash-blonde hair needed a
wash.
What are you doing here? he asked, as she closed the door
behind her.
Unfinished business, she said.
Listen.. . I ve got something to tell you. .
God, this was going to be messy. We ve found a replacement,
in the show. She looked at him blankly. He hurried on, tripping
over his own words, We thought
you were out of commission, I mean, not permanently, but, you
know, for the opening at least. . .
Don t worry, she said. His jaw dropped a little. Don t worry?
What s it to me?
You said you came back to finish , He stopped. She was
unbuttoning the top of her dress.
She s not serious, he thought, she can t be serious. Sex?
Now?
I ve done a lot of thinking in the last few hours, she said as
she shimmied the crumpled dress over her hips, let it fall, and
stepped out of it. She was wearing a white bra, which she tried,
unsuccessfully, to unhook. I ve decided I don t care about the
theatre. Help me, will you?
She turned round and presented her back to him.
Automatically he unhooked the bra, not really analysing whether
he wanted this or not. It seemed to be a fait accompli. She d come
back to finish what they d been interrupted doing, simple as that.
And despite the bizarre noises she was making in the back of her
throat, and the glassy look in her eyes, she was still an attractive
woman. She turned again, and Galloway stared at the fullness of
her breasts, paler than he d remembered them, but lovely. His
trousers were becoming uncomfortably tight, and her performance
was only worsening his situation, the way she was grinding her
hips like the rawest of Soho strippers, running her hands between
her legs.
Don t worry about me, she said. I ve made up my mind. All I
really want. . .
She put her hands, so recently at her groin, on his face. They
were icy cold.
All I really want is you. I can t have sex and the stage
There comes a time in everyone s life when decisions have to
be made.
She licked her lips. There was no film of moisture left on her mouth
when her tongue had passed over it.
The accident made me think, made me analyse what it is I
really care about. And frankly She was unbuckling his belt. I
don t give a shit
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